ROBCO EVENT LOG V2.66
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Smash The plan, as far as raids and hostile takeovers go, is a simple one. Its strength is in its simplicity. There is very little room for even the most chem-addled raider to mess up a simple plan while being supervised.

The target is a pre-war service station that a group of bandits has turned into a defensible and even cozy home off of Highway 380. The bandits rarely venture far from their sanctuary, but roll out in force when they see something worth hitting coming down the road.

Smash, Firehose, and a couple other Marauders will be disguised and leading a pack brahmin along the road to try and draw them out. At that time, a small group will sneak into the back of the walled station, disable or destroy the machine gun turret, and capture or kill any bandits that remained at the homestead.

That is the plan, and it has been gone over at least a dozen times already. Now, as the sun grows low and orange on the dusty horizon, both the Marauders and a few brave (or psychotic) souls that seek to prove themselves and join are in position and ready, hopefully, to tactically acquire a place to call home.
Splutch There's almost no noise that comes from the soles of Splutch's dark grey leather boots. The soles are designed in such a way that they leave almost no imprint, as almost no trace is left in her wake. Though, her light frame also contributes to the lack of evidence. She's doing her best to remain quiet. The quicker that they can get in, and the least noise that they can make, the more likely that they can make it out without incident. She's got a small patch on the side of her head on her ear that looks a little like a bandage, but it's grown dirty and looks like it hasn't been looked at in about a week. Knees bent slightly, Splutch peers around a corner to pick a good moment to move, and waits for the bandits to hopefully take the bait.
Stank Gum "Tear the flesh!" Exclaims Stank Gum, his voice sounding as if someone managed to synthesize the singing voice of Marilyn Manson with the sound of squeaking styrofoam. His breath inexplicably filling the surrounding area with the sickly smell of sour milk. "Rev the engines! Grind the bones!"

The wirey raider, a recent newcomer to the area and potentially to the Marauders, balls up his gnarled, callused fists and slams them into his head in machinegun rapid procession, until blood begins to seep from one of the stitches in his hide mask. From a worn out, frayed nylon fanny pack around his waist, Stank Gum pulls out a syringe-like contraption and plunges it deep into one of the many blown out veins protruding from his lanky arms. As he depresses the plunger, he releases a hissing sigh of relief. "Ooooh yeah! Sweet mother's milk! Blind me with your glorious fury!"

    No sooner than he does that, he pulls out an old red inhaler, and takes a deep, deep huff. When his eyes open, the one blue eye almost matches the "blown out" pupil of it's counterpart. He rolls his shoulders, cracking his neck, and drawing forth a pitted, rusty old machete. Some of the deeper, darker ruddy stains might not be rust. "Bone Slicer the Brain Splitter... are you ready for the ballroom blitz, babydoll?"

    He kisses the blade, and then, twitching, he begins to stalk forward, out of the cover of a sandy old gulch, and towards the back of the service station. He can barely contain himself. The nervous energy is almost palpable, like a miasma surrounding him. He sneers in razor-toothed delight as he crawls on all fours like some wasteland lizard, rather than a man.
Darling Darling is with the group of bandits and terrible folk, relatively lightly armored, and packing her little Laser Pistol with her as she moves along with the others, letting the sneakier folks go first.

She has, however, amped up as well, not as much as some of the others, probably, some mentats pulled out of their container, and popped into her mouth to give her that extra little edge..
Smash The group of poorly disguised raiders silhouetted in the setting sun do not take long to draw the attention of the bandits inside the station. This is evident from the sound of scrambling, weapons checking, and muffled planning inside the walls. It takes all of two minutes before the reinforced doors in the front gate tunnel are kicked open to emit five gun-toting, leather-clad, razor-needing men of questionable repute. As they jog away from the station, the doors are shut by a sixth that remains inside those makeshift walls.

The over-acting voice of Firehose can be heard crying out several hundred feet from the infiltration group. "Oooh nooo! Dem dere's summa dem bandit guys dat wanna take our- Ow!" He flinches as he earns a kick in the side of the leg for his theatrics, and decides to finish up his performance. "Run! Run fer yer liiiives!"

The distraction group starts to run away from the station, albeit slower than the unencumbered bandits. Whatever happens now, one thing is sure. They have succeeded in buying the infiltrators some time.
Stank Gum     A junkie hopped up on Jet and Psycho does not a stealth assassin make. He's practically growling and drolling all over himself, muttering colorful phrases to himself, while scurrying around like a molerat. "Garters for guts and guts for garters... I'll never stop until they flop!"

    Is he singing? Quietly. Yes. Somehow, he manages not to blow his cover as he gets to the building and then practically crawls along the wall to the door. He pulls a bobby pin from a dollhead laced onto his arm, and tries to pick the lock. The pin breaks.

He hisses! "Curse my metal body! I wasn't deft enough!"
Splutch Splutch moves as stealthfully as possible, following closely - but not too closely - behind the colorful character known recently as Stank Gum. While not the picture of grace that most might imagine sneaking up to the door, there is an upturn to the edges of Splutch's mouth as she stops behind him. "Let me see if I can get this to work..," She pulls a bobby pin out of her hair and then attempts to unlock the door. Then it snaps. "Damnit. There must be a piece of something jammed in there. Unless they managed a pretty good lock out here somehow..." The edges of her mouth downturn sourly as her brow furrows.
Smash In the direction of the others, a gunshot can be heard. It echoes across the empty wastes as a bold, singular noise for all of two seconds before it is followed by numerous shots of many types of calibers and rates of fire. A crazed "YeeeeeeHAW!" is the only other sound that manages to carry over the distance.
Darling Darling is like some stealth master, for someone who's not particularly sneaky, following the other two up to the rear door and holding her pistol close as she crouches down next to the others, squinting at the door a little, but to no avail.
Stank Gum     "Oh! I'll show them how to jam something into tiny holes! I've got a sparkplug in my brainparts and a piston in my boybits just for them!" Stank whispers... though it's more like a stage whisper than anything. Suddenly, Stank Gum's face... underneath the crudely stitched mask, gets very, very somber. He turns his mismatched eyes on Splutch and says, in a deep, rumbling voice, "French me, mommy."

    Then, he takes a few bounding steps backwards, his arms swaying as if he were about to topple over. He does a little twirl, before launching himself into the door with all the might and fury that his chem-fueled body has in him. "OOOH YEAH!!! I'M THE ONE WHO KNOCKS, BABY!!!"

    CRASH!!

    Stank Gum smashes through the door like the Kool-Aid man, and falls flat on his face, but quickly picks himself up and brushes himself off. Totally meant to do that style.
Splutch "There's that fucking turret. We better get that beast down before it rips us apart!" Splutch almost spits the words behind her toward Stank Gum and Darling before she smacks the side of her .44 and then runs toward some reasonably good cover a little closer to it. She turns, aiming quickly. Holding the gun in front of her with both hands to steady it, she fires at the giant metal bullet-cannon. Better known as a turret.
Smash There might be a firefight in the area, but the sound of that metal door wrenching its bar and slamming into the ground is like thunder in the backyard. It is followed almost immediately by the report of Splutch's .44 and its round hitting a metal object, which, in turn, is responded to by automatic fire, the crash of glass and a shotgun. Shit has gotten as noisy at the station as it is in the wasteland.

The second Splutch hit the turret, it started to shoot back at her. The wood stall she was using as cover is turned into kindling and splinters as she dives out of the path of fire. She has no time to recover when a man inside the building below the turret-a building only a little larger than an outhouse-shoves a shotgun barrel through an already mostly-broken window and fires. It is by the skin of her teeth that Splutch manages to roll away in time.
Darling Darling darts into the compound, Laser Pistol coming up and she fires off a quick double shot at the Turret as she goes, the Mentats helping her focus on all these little things. While the turret explodes, she moves to slide behind a piece of cover, a stack of old tires. "Got the Turret!" She exclaims.
Stank Gum     "I'M GONNA PLAY HOPSCOTCH IN YOUR CHEST CAVITY!!!" Stank Gum shrieks at the top of his bloody lungs, lunging for the shotgun wielding bandit and taking a wide swipe that throws him off balance and lets the doe dodge the attack.

    Frustrated that he didn't take the dude's arm clean off, Stank Gum smashes the back edge of the old, bloody machete against his own face violently, with a dull metallic clang. "NO NO NO!! You can't get away from my love! I'm gonna put my pain into your SOUL!"

    Throwing out his arms wide, as if welcoming the blasts of the shotguns that are sure to be aimed at him, Stank Gum cries out to the Heavens, "WE'RE GONNA TAKE THE RAINBOW BRIDGE BY THE GORE TRAIN!! ALL ABOARD!!!"
Splutch Splutch's eyes are still wide from the surprise of a man barreling out from beneath the turret as she tries to get to her feet and recover from her ridiculous display of acrobatics as both the turret and a shotgun fire at her. She danced around like a burning raccoon at a four alarm fire for a few moments. Not making it quite to her feet, she yells, "Hey! Fuck you, motherfucker. You think I did my hair for you? Here's what I think of you!" She grabs at the general location the giant-sized, over-exaggerated zipper on the crotch of her latex booty shorts and makes a rude gesture resembling a blam cannon from her lady cannon before she lets out a battle cry and fires off two rounds straight at the man wielding the shotgun. BLAM! BLAM!
Smash The man that threw himself into the corner to not turn into Stank Gum's newest victim is flinching back into a standing fetal position when two rounds whiz through the window and clip him in the head and back. Somehow alive, but completely dazed, he gibbers out some nonsense and reloads his shotgun far more slowly than a trained gunman should. The younger man across the room, however, manages to level his shotgun at the intruder, keep the barrel trained on him, and fire. Unfortunately for the young bandit, the chemmed up raider is fast. Fast enough that trying to shoot him as he ducks behind the wounded bandit earns the latter a slug in the knee. The thrice-shot man makes a sucking, wheezing noise as he falls to the ground missing half a leg.
Darling Darling takes aim with her little laser pistol, pointing it in the direction of the remaining bandit, at least the one that the group of Marauders can see. She squeezes the trigger on the pistol, blasting away with red hot light!
Stank Gum     The guy shot at Stank Gum. Shot. At. Him.

    Like a spider monkey hopped up on Nuka Cola, Stank jumps out of the way of the rising shotgun barrel and does a rather acrobatic maneuver that includes a flip, and a onehanded cartwheel. Perhaps it's this display of amazing agility that leads to the first hit missing, as Stank swings wide. Still, it is also likely because of the guy's shock at the display (and shooting his buddy) that Stank manages to slice him straight across the belly. "I'm gonna feed you your poop sausages!"

    And then follows straight through with another cut, biting deep into the young guy's hand, claiming a few digits. For his necklace. "Sweet lil piggies! LET ME IN!"
Splutch Splutch is having a hard time aiming at the remaining bandit with all of Stank Gum's antics, grappling onto and trying to eat his fingers. But her eyes go wide and she starts laughing despite the very serious situation that they are in. Thankfully the shaking resulting from that belly laugh do not result in the remaining shots going into Stank Gum. Instead they just barely hit the man. In the stomach. Which causes her to laugh even harder as she barely breathes out, "Ahahahaha! I pierced your belly button for you!" Her eyes are starting to water she is laughing so hard!
Smash WHAM! A metal floor hatch that Stank Gum flipped over (but did not see) flies open. A short, broad-shouldered man leaps up from inside looking ready for war. His boots thud on the floor as he lands and straightens; body immediately quaking as he flexes. His leathers have metal bands and strips of tire wrapped around them, and a combat helm with a hockey mask on it adorns his head. Sticking out of his left thigh are three syringes clustered together. He wields a combat knife in his right hand, and as soon as he stands upright, he reaches to the small of his back to pull a second from its scabbard.

The first person he sees is Stank Gum butchering the young bandit. His scream is a chem-induced devil roar. "I'm gonna fuck you with a knife!"
Darling Darling continues to hunker down, finding an overturned Nuka Cola Fridge to hide behind as she fires off a quick double shot at the wounded lad, firing lazers all up at him!
Smash Screams. The young man is slashed, chopped, and shot. Any one of those he might have tried to tough out, but the rapid combination of them has him screaming, flailing, throwing himself back against the wall and grabbing his crippled hand all at the same time. He drops the shotgun in all that, and tries to shove a foot at Stank Gum to push the man back, but catches a laser beam in the sternum and disintegrates into a pile of ash in the blink of an eye.
Stank Gum     "Johnny...." Stank Gum says stoically to the young man, as Splutch fills his belly with lead. "She's shooting up your poop sausages, Johnny... how will I feed you now?"

    Then "Johnny" gets turns to ash by a laser blast. Stank Gum frowns, and whispers, "Problem solved.... goodnight, sweet prince..."

    But his mourning for the loss of feeding someone their own entrails is short lived. For his melancholy is interrupted by the arrival of another!

    "OH BELOVED MEAT PUPPET!!!" Stank Gum screams out ecstatically when he sees this newcomer on to the field. "WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS TO ME AND I'LL SING YOU LULLABYES OF SLAUGHTERCAKES!!!"

    He rushes forward, swiping wildly with the machete. It seems like it always takes Stank a practice swing before he gets his bearings on hitting any one target. But when he does.... That machete bites DEEP into the fleshy bits of the knife wielder's arm. "Nice face, fat boy! I'm gonna wear it like a condom when we're done dancing!"
Splutch Splutch swings her gun toward the huge guy that threw the hatch open, her laughter cut short by the sight of the thing flying open. "The fuck? That's rude of you..." She fires a shot at him, shooting his right leg. "Such a little knife." She tsks at him with a small shake of her hear. "Don't you wish your knife was as big as /his/?" She gestures toward Stank Gum briefly. "The thing is, your knife has to nicely match the size of your balls, so clearly you can't win this round. He's got way bigger cajones. I have a feeling that yours'll be his dessert." Leave it to her big mouth to be shooting off while she reloads her .44.
Smash The chemmed-up and armor-covered bandit moves with blurring speed; not seeming to notice even when he is hit. He focuses on the target trading blows with him. He lunges, missing with the knife but throwing his body into it to slam his head into Stank Gum's chest, then spinning around and catching him with the other knife in a quick flurry. The entire time he is screaming a sound that would terrify less hardened criminals.

"Fuuuuuuck yeeeeaaah!"
Darling Still hanging back a bit is Darling, her pistol raised to take aim at the knife wielding bandit lord, glancing sideling at Splutch, "Who do you think he's going to use the face condom on?" she asks, a bit of a look crossing her face, not the good kind. "Him, I hope." She shoots at Lord Leatherpants, or whatever his bandit name is, laser beam going off!
Stank Gum     Stank Gum gets hit. And he feels it. Sort of. Pain slices through the red haze of chems and brings with it a moment of crystal sharp clarity. Clarity that only brings forth the pure, unadulterated rage that bubbles up within him like lava, and this dude standing in front of him is looking a whole lot like Pompeii.

    "YOU CAN HIT ME WITH YOUR PAIN PINATAS ALL DAY BUT YOU CAN NEVER! EVER! TAKE THE JELLIED FANTASIES OF MY WASTED YOUTH! MY STOMACH IS CLEAR AND MY BRAIN IS FULL OF BACON!!!"

    With that, Stank Gum unleashes a soul shattering howl and launches forward with all the ferocity of a cornered Deathclaw. His blade bites hard and deep, both times plunging into the gut of the short fellow berserker. "PEEL THE FLESH AND SALT THE WOUNDS! NOBODY KILLS ME BUT ME!!! YOU HEAR THAT!!?!"
Splutch "Woah there, danger boy..." Splutch blinks and steps back a bit as Stank Gum goes crazy on the huge fucker. "Make sure you're taking it out on the right dude." She briefly glances out of the corner of her eye at Darling. "Lord Leatherpants, huh?" The corner of her mouth turns up as she aims and shoots at the fucker. "Ooooh. Looks like you're getting a big belly piercing too! You fuck him with that knife, Stanky!" Apparently, the slightly modified name is close enough for her.
Smash How much the bandit is actually being damaged by his attackers is hard to tell not only because of his body-covering armor, but also because he stays still for less time than a humming bird. Even as he is getting shot and cut, he is focused on nothing more than disembowling the psycho in front of him. He stabs forward frantically and scores a couple hits out of aggressiveness rather than pure skill. "Die. Die. Die! DIE! DIIIE!" His screaches out so rough and homicidally loud that his throat is probably bleeding.
Darling Remaining back away from the Knife stabbing frenzy that's going on is Darling, she keeps firing away with her laser pistol every chance she can when an opening presents itself, sinking more laser fire into the bandit boss once more.
Stank Gum     Back and forth, the two junkie titans clash. Stank takes a few good hits, and leather and flesh part like the red sea to expose pink muscle before the blood begins to seep to the surface and start flowing freely. He either doesn't notice it, or it just spurs him on to greater rage. His mouth is frothing, the foamy spittle pink with the blood seeping from his blackened gums and the creases around his ruined, jagged teeth.

    "THE SWEET SONGS OF YOUR MEAT FLAPS WILL FILL MY HEART WITH GOLDEN RAYS OF SUNSHINE! SLURP IT UP!!!" He shouts, directly into the man's face, spattering his mask with the aforementioned bloody spit-froth. His arm rises overhead, and comes crashing down, biting into the armor of the man's left arm and punching through it, nearly taking it off. It's enough to make the foe drop his weapons.

    Stank Gum's bloody, rotten rictus parts wide, his black and blue eyes becoming silver dollars, as he says, "And now it's time for the slow-stab of wonderment and pain!!"

    His machete pushes against the guy's chest, driving him down onto his back. As he struggles to grasp, Stank Gum just keeps, slowly, pushing down with all of his might and weight, until the blade punctures armor and bites into flesh. The soft, wet crack of bone heralds the breaking of his sternum, and then Bone Slicer the Brain Splitter finds the meaty bits underneath the hard outter shell. The armored foe gurgles and sputters, but there's not much you can do when your heart is being parted in your chest.
Smash With the bandits all dead (and continuing to be butchered until Stank Gum's dose of Psycho wears off), securing the station is a simple thing. It is only a matter of time before the other Marauders return, also victorious with wounded-and one dead-among their number, but in high spirits.

That night, the rotgut stash is pulled out and passed around. Wounds are treated. Beds are claimed. Rooms are explored. Most importantly, two new members are initiated into the Marauders. Skullcandy, on Smash's recommendation, is posthumously made a member. On Splutch's recommendation, Stank Gum is brought in as a full, living member. There is even talk of putting him in charge of something like suicide missions. Which might have been a joke.

Maybe it will end in ashes, but for now the Marauders have the thing they needed. A home. Lovingly wrenched from the grasp of others.